Getting Pregnant With Kevin

So, normally I feel like this is not a post people write about. However, I felt like our journey getting pregnant with Kevin was a miracle and I really wanted to write it down so we could always remember how lucky and blessed we are.

I feel like getting pregnant with Kevin really started with the ectopic pregnancy we lost in July 2019. I had surgery and right after we had a handful of follow up appointments. One of the appointments we had scheduled was to get a HSG test done. HSG is short for hysterosalpingography. This is a test where they use dye and x-ray to see the shape of the uterus and falopian tubes. The doctor wanted to see if everything had healed itself from the surgery as well look at my remaining tube to see if it also had any complications.

We were told that there was a chance of it being blocked and if this was the case we knew I would never be able to get pregnant on my own. I was super nervous for this test and was scared of the pain. I had read blogs and watched YouTube videos about how painful it could be if things were blocked up. We knew that one side was for sure blocked because they had removed my whole right tube during the surgery. The procedure was pretty painful, but in the end we learned that my left side looked fine. I felt so relieved.

The next appointment I had was at my OBGYN office to have an ultrasound on August 28th, 2019. When they discovered the ectopic pregnancy in July they also found a ton of cysts. These cysts were larger than a quarter and I had more than 10. They wanted to make sure they had all gotten small again. She checked and everything looked basically back to normal. She was also able to tell us that I was either currently ovulating or just about to. She said, if you want to try and get pregnant, today is your chance! I really believe that this is what helped us the most to get pregnant.

As the days passed I started to get so anxious again. I started taking pregnancy tests just a few days later, every single day, hoping and praying to see that faint line. On September 8th (11 days past my ovulation) I woke up early and took a test. Once again it was negative. I was super sad. I had read a recent study that said 70% of women will get a positive by this day. So when it showed up negative I couldn't help but feel defeated again. I went back to bed and told Simone how I thought we would never be able to have a baby. I probably laid there for an hour or so then decided to get up and get ready for church.

When I went back into the bathroom and saw the test I could see a super faint line! I mean really, it was barely there! But I could see it! I thought that it could just be an evaporation line but was still so hopeful it could be real. We went to church and when we got back I took another cheap test. It was the same thing. No line showed up in the time frame they tell you to read it in, but it showed up a few hours later. So I dug out my expensive ClearBlue Digital Test. We waited the time frame and it said, "Not Pregnant" I was so bugged. I felt like I was going crazy. In my heart, I knew I was pregnant and these tests were lying to me. In my moment of craziness, I decided to rip apart the ClearBlue test, and inside was just a thin strip that looked like all the cheap-o tests. And it was definitely showing two lines!

I waited until the next day and did the same thing again with another ClearBlue. It said, "Not pregnant." But when I ripped it apart it showed an even darker line than the day before. I knew I was pregnant! I called my doctor's office and let them know right away. They had asked me to call them right away to start doing HCG testing. Once you have an ectopic pregnancy your chances for another go up, so they wanted to make sure I was okay the next time I got pregnant. The next day, Monday, while on my break at work I ran to my friends in phlebotomy and had them draw me. The levels showed up as a 20. Typically you will want to see your numbers double every 48 hours. So they scheduled me for another draw on Wednesday. Wednesday's results showed that the HCG had only risen to 35. It was close to double but wasn't what they wanted to see. They asked me to go in again on Friday for another test.

This particular Friday I was working up in Salt Lake. I can't really remember the exact reason I was there, but I know I was there instead of in St. George. Because I didn't have the same lab connections up north, it took a lot longer to get my results. Every hour that passed caused me so much anxiety. Finally, my results came in and I was crushed. They had only gotten up to 46. By Friday they should have been at least to 80. I knew it wasn't great but kept thinking that maybe it was okay for it to be going slow. At least they were going up? But about 30 minutes later I got a call from my OBGYNs office. It was a nurse there and she told me that things were not good. I remember standing in the stairwell of the hospital when she called and told me, "Well, it looks like you are going to have a miscarriage." I felt my breath leave my body. She then told me that when someone is successfully pregnant the numbers will for sure double at a steady rate and my body was not doing that. She said it was just a matter of time before we lost the baby. Trying to cling on to any hope I had left I asked her, "What are the chances that it could be okay?" She paused for a moment and said, "Maybe one in a million?" She then told me to go back in for another draw in 48 hours so they could track when the miscarriage was happening.

I hung up the phone and just cried alone in that hallway. I called Simone and told him the news. I cried some more. I held myself together just long enough to gather my things and run out of the office. As I drove home I remember just feeling so angry. Angry at the nurse, angry at Simone for not being with me at work when I got the call (I know, stupid. ha ha), I was angry at my body for not working how it was supposed to. I just remember being so mad at the world. I had given up caffeine and a handful of other foods that are "not good" for pregnancy. I remember wanting to go buy all of them since "I was going to lose the baby anyway." In the end, I didn't give in to that desire and just went home.

We were staying at my parent's house that weekend and I know my family was all sorts of confused with my random outbursts of tears that day. I just couldn't hold it back. I was so emotional that day. I was so happy to think of the possibility of a baby and then so quickly have it gone again. Originally we had planned to not tell our family until later in the pregnancy, but since we had a "one in a million" chance I felt like, "why not tell them? They'll find out in a week or so when I miscarry anyway." So I told them and we all cried together.

Two days later, Sunday, we went in for a fourth draw. This number came back as 79. I couldn't believe it, but it had risen a lot from Friday's 46. Later that day we got a call from my actual OBGYN. He told us that he was really surprised that the number had gone up as much as it did. He wanted us to go in again in another 48 hours. He told us he did expect a miscarriage but that, "miracles happen all the time," and he didn't want to say for sure that it wouldn't last but also didn't leave us with a lot of hope.

Tuesday's results went up to 167. And two days after that, 345. A week after that they had climbed all the way 2704. They took us in for an ultrasound that week and that is when we saw his little heartbeat. I cried. It was when I saw that heartbeat, and saw him growing in the right place that I knew it was all going to be okay. The doctor came in and basically said he couldn't believe it. He said in all of his years of practice he had never seen levels that looked like mine end up successful. I really know that Kevin was a miracle.

A few weeks later I did start to spot and they worried that we might be losing him again. They gave me a Rhogam shot and that helped. I also asked them to prescribe me progesterone. I think this also helped stabilize everything. After that everything was fine. I felt like I had such a great pregnancy, and unless someone had told you what happened at the beginning you would have thought everything was always perfect.

I don't know why God chose to save our baby and others he does not. But I am thankful forever that it turned out okay for us. Every day I send prayers and love to all those who have lost, are still trying, or can not have babies. My love really is with you.

Throughout it all, I prayed that things would be okay, but I don't think that is what saved my baby. I really believe it was the faith of my family. The Sunday that our numbers started to turn around I know that some of my family had decided to fast for us. In our faith, members will give up meals and "fast" as a way to exercise faith and focus on their prayers for others. I know it was the faith and prayers of my family that really turned things around for us. We were the one in a million that turned out okay and every day I thank God for the miracle that is now Kevin.